The Burdens of “Superficial Insecurity”

I know more than anyone first hand what it feels like to feel so low about yourself. To wallow away in darkness as you pick at the things you fail to recognize. To spend your days searching for approval, and even at the point of receiving compliments and praise, still falling short on accepting yourself.

Can you imagine at 9 years old, taking a piece of paper and just writing down all the things you hate about yourself? Starting with your face and hair, to the color of your skin, down to your size and shape. To look into the mirror with tears almost every single time; crying more than you’d laugh. Writing each and every single day “Dear diary, why was I made this way?”

Learning to appreciate my looks was by far the most difficult thing for me to comprehend. I mean how could I possibly be attractive, let alone enough for anyone? How could I be the one who everyone desires? What about me would make someone’s heart flutter?

Never did I see the value in my beauty because I waited so long for someone else to notice it for me. Kids at school can be so cruel, and it is so unfortunate that at an early age cliques are needed to socially operate. So young we are taught to be friends with people based on common association, often times these associations being based on the superficial. If only I would have known that I was never the problem. It wasn’t me who was ugly nor was it me who was never good enough. It wasn’t me who had issues nor was it me who needed fixing.

Believe me I understand the struggle of wanting to be accepted, and no matter what grade you are in, at one point or another the pressure to be beautiful settles in. Especially being “that pretty girl” everyone adores. And when that honor doesn’t come, it can be hurtful. You try to find ways to make yourself stand out, looking for the right outlet to go about.

Whether it is the pressure of wearing makeup, changing your hair, dressing more provocatively, there is something that you feel needs to be accentuated in order to be appreciated. We don’t ever stop to think to love what we have because we are so busy altering who we are to appease someone else.

Just look at the modern day influences we are faced with.

Now a days we are surrounded by this false agenda of beauty. In order to be beautiful you have to match a certain criteria. Your skin has to be clear, you hair has to be long, your body has to be “slim thick”, your face (aka makeup) has to be on point, at all times. I mean looking beautiful is never a wrong thing; hey I love switching it up every now and then with different face/skin care regimens and clothing styles. Never is there anything wrong with taking care of yourself, just as long as that doesn’t become the focus point of who you are.

We as a people have fallen so far behind in the sense that we praise looks more than we praise intellect. We value those social media likes and followers more than we value our own self-applause.

  • To what extent is it ever enough?
  • When can you do these things to feel good for you, and not for anyone else?
  • How do you find yourself in a world full of Beyoncé’s and Kardashian’s.
  • How do you find yourself in a society full of “slayage” and “on fleek”?
  • How do you find yourself in an environment where everyone is competing to be the “best”?

Well hunny let me tell you!

Remember as a kid hearing that old cliche: being beautiful on the inside is what matters most. Well hate to break it to you but that is the only way you will truly understand how precious you are. In fact this very same very ideology is recorded in the book of Isaiah.

“…people are like the grass. Their beauty fades as quickly as the flowers I a field…the grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever.” (Isaiah 40:6-8)

As mentioned in Scripture, beauty is temporary therefore the beauty of your character is needed to highlight your true essence. When you start to glorify the young woman you are in God, it will not matter who is above or beneath you.

“Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel. But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.” (1 Peter 3:3-4)

You see, God calls us to humble ourselves. After all, you can be the most gorgeous person in the room with the most hardened heart. Hardened in the sense that you are too prideful or too vain. Too self absorbed in how you look that you don’t even notice what is going on around you.

Stop looking at what you need to do to become better when you are already at your best! You are you and THAT IS YOUR POWER! There is no one else in the world designed like you. There is no other being with your unique positioning. There is no one like you with your anointed purpose. God created you in your own avenue, to move freely in your own lane. He has blessed you with your own set of gifts and talents, which alone is sufficient enough to set you apart from any crowd.

While this world wants to remind you so desperately to change yourself, God wants to remind you that you are error free.

“Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee.” (Song of Solomon 4:7)

Be so strong in your identity in Christ that you don’t have time to be the “baddest” thing walking in the room. Figure out who you are in Him so that no person can ever redefine your self-worth.


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Writer who spreads Christ's message to deliver lost souls from their painful beginnings so they can experience a transformed renewing.

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